sing to me..

2012-01-20T20:34:00.002+08:00

the way he gorged food down his throat
the way he screamed like there's no tomorrow
the way he coughs
the way he thinks

he never sighs
he never forgets

That was the image i feared the most. what if it was forever?

I can't even say it out loud now.

never thought it'd happen to me.

what if you were still alive? Would everything be different?
would our lives be better?

what is loneliness to you?

2010-11-11T22:38:00.002+08:00

Loneliness is a scary thing..

whenever i think of loneliness, i feel like i'm being left out from something, left out from the world. it is scary as you do not know what's gonna happen next.. Seeing people around you being occupied with something, or having company, you feel empty.. Do you guys ever feel this way?

Around me, I do not wish to see people being alone.. But sometimes, loneliness is inevitable. People eating in public alone, living alone, watching a movie alone, shopping alone, or even working alone..

I have tried working alone.. Tell you the truth, it sucks big time.. Although you are in the organization, there is no sense of belonging at all.. All it takes is for you to be punctual for work, do your duties and your day is done. That's why, i will not turn back and take the road i took. Eating alone in public is a big issue for me.. Perhaps, you may think eating alone is common and inevitable.. But i think the other way. it may not be bad to eat alone, yet at some point, there has to be company to eat with and talk to..

Staying alone is worse! Imagine having to take care of yourself with no one around you? Parents living overseas and you staying alone here in Singapore to get through your education or earn a living? I have friends living alone.. and i feel that i have the responsibility to make them happy and keep them company.. Hearing them say ," i'm going home" straight after lesson.. I feel weird. Maybe i'm not used to this as i do not go home straight after school ever since secondary 3.. i don't see the point of going home straight after school and not being productive at all.. Therefore, when they have dates with friends, i feel really happy for them..

I'm watching Dr Champ now.. At this part,Park Ji Heon hurt his close friend Sang Bong during the finals of a judo match. Besides Sang Bong being sent to the hospital for an emergency operation, Ji Heon had absolutely no idea of what just happened. In this scenario, he ran away from judo practices, from home and even from the girl he likes (Yeon Woo). When he finally answered her nth call, he cried saying that he wants to meet her and he was afraid.. I can totally comprehend his feeling.. Imagine committing a mistake you didn't realize and suddenly you realize you have no one to turn to.. It is like falling to the bottom of a pit and just waiting for someone to save you..

I felt really uneasy after class this morning.. Despite having friends around me, I felt a bout of loneliness and sadness, I felt lost out of a sudden and found "no one" around me.. But i stood strong and remained in my position.. Perhaps some things happened too fast such that i had no time to catch up and think through.. I agree with the saying, " when you feel a surge of happiness, sadness will come shortly after".

the thought of meeting my friends later in the afternoon nearly made me cry.. i realized i miss them so much! haven't seen them in a long time and finally!! (: loneliness is not something to be taken lightly.. I need company and i love the people around me. So i hope everyone can be happy (:

toodles!

it's never too late to say yes.

2010-10-20T00:02:00.002+08:00

i just arrived home not long ago from a session at NTU toastmasters' club.

To say, i really enjoyed myself there as the people there were sociable, easy to talk to and entertaining! it was admirable i must say.

Today was the night i went to give my second speech. I was having a hard time trying to come up with a decent speech as there i was staring into space and new ideas just form by themselves. Being a perfectionist, I couldn't help but edit my speech again and again. Even till the last minute, I changed a little content in my speech and fumbled a little with my words. But it turned out well i suppose..

I NEED MORE COURAGE! COURAGE! COURAGE! (:

i had a great day today at jieying's dorm, in school and at NTU.

MORE FUN DAYS TO COME!

ciaos

the opportunity cost

2010-10-02T01:17:00.002+08:00

Opportunity cost is the cost incurred when one foregoes something in place of another.

I am not here to talk about Economics, but rather, explain about the situation I faced earlier today.

1st October is Darylene's birthday. So we made it a point to celebrate her birthday. True enough, while yu and jy attended lectures and Gab was still stuck in camp, the rest of us had fun at kbox. Singing has become somehow important. Not that I am stressed, but it gives me a platform to boost my confidence. Singing with friends is always awesome. We bond to the same music, same tune, same actions, same decisions and so on.. Dejavu doesn't really come that often when I am with the others. But it is different for this group of friends. Though we do not see one another often, we have one another's interests at heart. Everything was unpretentious and we were transfixed in a moment of deep friendship and fun. I hope our friendship will continue to blossom and it shall last.

Besides Darylene's birthday, 1st October is also Money Mastery Toastmaster's Club chapter meeting. I was given the position of a Timer early last week. I wanted to be absent on that day to be able to spend time with the rest. But I was glad i didn't. Going into another club to experience and to assume a role is certainly a privilege for me. I experienced a different atmosphere there as compared to ours. I sensed passion and warmth in the former. But for the latter, all I felt was competition and hostility. There are also good stuff for the latter, but I just can't picture what.

Today's session was intriguing as I learnt new words, phrases and actions. Being a timer required my constant attention towards time. When i was in the audience, I never knew how hard it was to be a timer. I also could not understand the importance of time. 1 min, or even 30s makes a huge difference. Imagine that 30s was all you need to qualify for voting... If i had pressed the bell and not prior to the occasion, the evaluators would not have been able to qualify for voting. During the Language evaluator's speech, I chose to time but kept the timing to myself. This is because, it was an opportunity to learn from one another and to get hold of new stuff. To gain learning experiences, time is not the essence. Rather, the willingness and interest of one towards a certain issue.

The opportunity cost incurred for attending Toastmasters will be missing the last part of Darylene's birthday and to meet the rest of the group. However, I feel proud that I made this choice. I stood on a new platform of discovery and learning, such that it was worth every of my time.

I am still keeping a constant record of spamming dramas and learning new words. Also, taking note of new ideas for my upcoming speeches..

PS: My pens have been missing. First, I lent an indian guy my pen at Woodlands Driving Centre and walked off before taking my pen back. Then today, I used my pen to register at Toastmasters' and forgot where I left it, Anw, THIS CALLS FOR STATIONERY SHOPPING IN TIME TO COME(:

till then

-The best way to change is to make it a habit

<3
Pei Rong

if only

2010-10-01T04:05:00.002+08:00

If only I was in the scene of Playful Kiss.. having a certain kind of independence, fun with friends and even a guy to like.. oh boy.. Fantasy fantasy...

Today, I just took another step into my future.. TAKING A TEST DATE FOR MY DRIVING TEST! Yes! 26th Nov 2010! I hope i will pass at the first try. Life has been running quite smoothly for me.. and I am awaiting for more to come!

1)School- 5th Oct 2010
2)Japanese Class- 16th Oct 2010
3) Korean Class- 30t Oct 2010
4) Driving Practical- 26th Nov 2010
5) more dramas!!!!!!

Oh well.. Time for me to create my own story.. No point wishing that you are in some dream that will never come true.

<3
Oyasuminasai!

Life is nothing without your friends

2010-09-29T21:35:00.003+08:00

I decided to blog while waiting for Glee's Season 2 Ep 2 to load..

It had been a rather harsh weekend for me, but I'm glad it's over. Furthermore, I feel like I just had the AWESOME-MEST holiday ever!

Went ice skating with wenyan today. We had KOI and Long John's for lunch. Cracked her up by telling her all about my drama and movie watching.. We got off at Kallang, only to realize that we had to transfer to the circle line at Paya Lebar to take 3 stops down to Stadium, where the ice skating rink was at. I had been looking forward to this day so long as I haven't seen wenyan for A LONG TIME! Also, I miss ice skating so much!

The ice skating at Kallang isn't as impressive as I thought it'd be! FORTUNATELY, the one at Jurong will be opening in time to come. Spent the whole of 2 hours talking to Wenyan while skating round and round and round the rink. After skating, we even had REALLY GOOD donuts and duk (rice cakes) before we made our way home. I must say, it's good that we still meet up and are sharing all kinds of experiences and thoughts we have. Ever since all of us started school, it's been rather hard to organize meet-up sessions as we have to look and coordinate the different schedules to come up with a suitable time. Now, given that everyone seems so preoccupied with school, I am really grateful to my friends who take time off to meet up with me(: NOMU NOMU KAMSAHEI!

Looking back at the past few months of 2010, I realized that i've been through a lot of ups and downs. Yet, there will always be my friends there to lend a listening ear. I think they know that I talk, gossip, complain and whine a lot, but they are still there to listen and give their comments. SO, I AM REALLY THANKFUL. Now, given that everyone seems so preoccupied with school, I am really grateful to my friends who take time off to meet up with me(: NOMU NOMU KAMSAHEI!

After a long talk with Mark yesterday, I have decided to consider about what I am gonna do with my life now. Mark gave me a lot of advice and suggestions such that I am taking time-out to look at the different opportunities and options the world offers. Yes! My dream workplace is still at RAFFLES PLACE(: (HOT GUYS AND COOL ENVIRONMENT)

Traveling has always been my ultimate wish. Getting to experience the different ways of living and culture, getting to see nature Singapore doesn't have, getting a one-of-a-kind experience and MUCH MORE! I am certainly looking forward to going overseas with my friends and family!!!! I REALLY WANNA FLY FLY FLY FLY FLY FLY!!

Anyway, I have been drama spamming so much and I am enjoying it loads! No restrictions, no lagging of videos and I AM UPDATED! AWESOME! How i wish i would get to experience what some dramas are depicting.. going to the same school and class as the guy you like, going through harsh times to create something magical, having great memories with people you love..

Glee should be ready!(: I'll be spamming dramas again..

Till I have the mood to write again! <3

thoughts

2010-09-24T00:26:00.002+08:00

As i am reading through my marketing notes, I am feeling lost somehow..

Since i started school, I took part in many activities and made many new friends. From these, I saw a new and different world. One that not many will dare to dream to be in it. One that may seem fun, but in reality, it is scary and dangerous. Yet, there was another side of it. One which is welcoming and filled with opportunities

I was facebook-"hopping" and saw a profile.. It was unintentional, but I saw a video. The one when we had our last captain's ball match. Initially, there was still hope in making to the final spot. But weariness and inability stood out like a sore thumb and we could not succumb to those, resulting in immediate failure. Many said it was a job well-done. Being a perfectionist, there was nothing i could do but accept the fact that we lost. There, a comment wrote," 实力差很多喔！“ That seriously stung. Although it was long over, the moment the video started playing, my heart just started racing like there was no tomorrow. I became breathless and tears nearly started to form. Ending that match in that hall was very much the last time i wanted to step into that school. Unfortunately, we were supposed to have exams there. Right in that hall where everything happened. Right there where the bloody teacher took sides and "assumed" full authority.

The feeling that i am having now is unexplainable.Perhaps, a cowardly and quiet soul which wishes to find a dark and immensely deep hole to hide.

Now, only time will tell.

it's complicated

2010-09-12T10:34:00.002+08:00

Ever wondered how life will be different if just one person makes a change?

Let me give an example.

A birthday party with 7 people giving a small surprise to the birthday boy/girl

1) If everybody has already prepared themselves and know their roles but the planner does not care about it, what do you think will happen?

2) If everybody is having fun except for one for is in a very bad mood?

3) If one person is being too much of a spoiler who leaks almost everything out?

Ok. I'm not saying these things are happening, but rather, I am making references.

I am trying to express this section in a third party's point of view so i won't be too biased towards any side. But forgive me if you find my writing a little towards one.

Sometimes, I wonder why things can become so complicated when there should be nothing to worry about in the first place? Yea, I agree that it may be quite hard to change this "habit" of yours just to cater to the occasion. But what if you try and things get better?

Then you should give yourself a pat on your back as you did a great job(:

In some scenarios, you will actually experience people who does not bother about the situation at all. That will really piss people off, such that the atmosphere becomes tensed, the others become unhappy and the whole situation may end up with no conclusion.

Next, have you actually wondered what you would become if you possessed a skill which everyone deems it too be THE ULTIMATE?

I HAVE!

If only i was.. If only I could do that... If only I had the ability to do that..

This will definitely occur in everyone's mind. Basically, this whole reality thing is based on comparison.
"The winner takes it all"
"There is a higher mountain after the highest mountain"

However, some people give up due to fear such that they miss a good opportunity to fight back or have a second chance to get what they really want. As said by Alexander Graham Bell,

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us."

Yet, no matter what happens, we should always smile and let it go slowly. It is true that some things are never meant to let go or to be forgotten. But your happiness cannot be denied because of this. Still, just smile and enjoy the moment before you miss the golden opportunity of finding happiness for yourself.

"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."

I have a few regrets in the Year 2010.

For failing to choose the right school
For failing to choose the right partners
For failing to fulfill my duties as a sister
For failing to do my duties as a daughter
For failing to make people around me happy
For failing to live up to my expectations
For failing to do what I am supposed to do
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........

The pain comes back every time i think about each moment that i dare not dream. Yes, I laugh it off but it still comes back when the "drug" wears out.

I hope to be a better person and i hope to be determined to change real soon so that people around me can know the real me.

Some phrases which I think will inspire.

1) Live with no excuses and love with no regrets

- Montel

2) You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret.

- Unknown

3) It`s funny how hello always ends with a goodbye,
it`s funny how good memories can start to make you cry.
It`s funny how forever never really seems to last,
it`s funny how much you`d lose if you forgot about your past.
It`s funny how friends can just leave you when you`re down,
it`s funny how when you need someone they`re never around.
It`s funny how people change and think they`re so much better,
it`s funny how many lies can be packed in one "love letter".
It`s funny how people forgive even though they can't forget,
it`s funny how one night can contain so much regret.
It`s funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, none of that`s funny to me.

- Unknown

4) Happiness needs sadness.
Success needs failure.
Benevolence needs evil.
Love needs hatred.
Victory needs defeat.
Pleasure needs pain.

You must experience and accept the extremes. Because if the contrast is lost, you lose appreciation; and when you lose appreciation, you lose the value of everything.

- Philippos

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY

2010-09-02T00:16:00.001+08:00

TO ALL TEACHERS WHO HAVE TAUGHT ME,

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY! SORRY IF I HAVE DISAPPOINTED YOU GUYS IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. BUT I REALLY APPRECIATE THE EFFORTS YOU GUYS PUT IN!(:

oops! it's 12:18AM which means it's the 2nd of September. anw.. it's the thought that counts(:

talk with actions done

2010-08-21T00:29:00.003+08:00

Today is the last time of cheerleading practice before we go down to the stadium in about 6 hours time.

I had a lot of rants after school, but I eventually felt better after telling it to a friend and spending time with my team. It may seem that I am being very selfish by disliking some people and ignoring some people. But, that is my principle. I can't stand it when people do not take the initiative and expect people to assign jobs to them. I mean, although it is assumed that I am the leader, there should be understanding and cooperation. I don't care how much you hate me or how ridiculous you may think I am, but as long as these 2 projects are done, I guess, your work till then is done. I am not trying to pinpoint anyone, but I am seriously very tired of having to repeat myself so many times just to bring out a point in which you may still not get it and still pretend like you do.

My life is EASB has been really awesome! Good friends (not classmates, really), good teachers! I love speaking with some of them especially the people in my team and a few others! The unity I felt was simply amazing. Despite everyone coming from different countries(Indonesia, Malaysia, Myanmar, China, Singapore), we still bonded as one and there were no conflicts! Our last practice was close to perfect and I dare say that we were really proud of ourselves!

I wanna treasure all my friends, be it those i just met or have known for a long time. Sorry that i dont have the time to meet all of you, but you guys have to know that you all are always on my mind(:

Cabbed home just now and I met an interesting driver. He made me feel like I was having another driving lesson or a business law class. He was talking about real scenarios, giving me precious advices and knowledge. It was truly and amazing experience.

"Marry a guy who loves you, but not the one you love"

He said I would never listen to his advice. Uncle, let me tell you this..

I WILL DEFINITELY PUT THIS INTO MIND. WHETHER OR NOT I PUT IT INTO USE, YOUR WORDS WILL RING IN MY HEAD!
HAVE A SAFE TRIP TO THAILAND! (:

night <3
iamtired..

a next post

2010-08-13T11:07:00.002+08:00

It's been long since I blogged.

Time has not been on my side recently. or should i say, my time management skill has not improved? I have had my 3rd driving lesson and I must say, it is really awesome. So what if I learn auto huh? AT LEAST I CAN DRIVE(:

I had a marketing quiz yesterday. I had not much of a problem handling it as I had paid attention in class and revised. Hmmm.. why didn't this happen to me when I was in JC? Oh well. The test was a 1 hour long paper.. Being trained to write fast, I completed the paper in 20 mins. I looked stupid enough to be rushing through my paper. But you won't look as stupid if you were doing an Economics paper or China Studies paper, where time doesn't seem to be enough! I still remembered those times where my words would fly out of the lines on the paper, or the huige cancellations made on the papers.. Memorable yes, and i wish i was back to those times.. Although my 20 mins was fast, the process was CRAZY i must say.. I still wonder.. The same guy who I still wonder about his curiosity took my notebook from the floor and referred openly! OMG! what can I say?

Why do you wanna take a test when you don't seem to be attending lessons or even understanding basic concepts? Why are you aiming for results when you don't seem to try? When you openly see my paper without my rejection, you don't even bother to copy.. Cos you said there were 2 lines for every of my answers and you were too lazy to copy. Seriously, never would I think that I would have to go through this.

When my eyes met my teacher, I begged her to take my paper, but she said it wasn't time. Being stuck in the middle looking like some retard wasn't exciting. After a while, I was allowed to submit my paper.. WEIRD, AWKWARD and other related terms can be used to describe how I felt that time..

Anyway,the real test will never be like that! I HOPE FOR THE BEST!

sitting in the computer lab in school, listening to SS501's songs.. I seriously miss them! True enough, I kinda expected something was going on when I didn't find closure and familiarity in their new mv, Love Ya. Although I don't know what's going on, I certainly hope for the best to the other 3 members.. Kim Kyu Jong, Heo Young Saeng and Kim Hyung Joon! Hwaiting!!

time to sleep for awhile..
IT'S FREEZING HERE!

AUGUST IS THE TIME OF THE YEAR 2010!

2010-08-08T00:34:00.003+08:00

Spent a long but gratifying day out of the house today.

I woke up early in the morning for my FIRST driving lesson! Reached Bukit Gombak at 9.30am and waited for my instructor to come. Since it was raining, he came to the waiting area to shelter me to his car! He is a really AWESOME instructor! He is humorous and fast! One hour into the lesson (introduction of the car and gears...), he asked me to go to the driver's seat and we were ready to go. "Are we driving on the real road now?!" I exclaimed. He replied," If not? You're already done with the basics." OMGG! That was the part I was not looking forward at all! DRIVING ON THE ROAD!! After stepping on the accelerator(with the PARKING on gear) and attempting to move the needle to 1500 on the echo meter, I lifted the handbrake, released the foot brake and we were ready to go! Seriously, reaching 1500 was not an easy feat. When i first stepped the accelerator, the needle went up to 3000, and the engine went VRRRRROOOOOOOMMMMM!

On the road, Mr Tan helped me with my steering and braking. Oh boy, I was so freaked out when we reached the main road that i screamed! Seriously, IT WAS FREAKY! Mr Tan kept asking me to keep my eyes on the road and stop freaking out. He also said,"车子是我的，我都不怕，你怕什么？“ Yea, it made sense, I tried to relax, and kept my eyes on the road. So, Mr Tan became the road watcher while I had to step on the accelerator and brake pedals as and when I was required. At the end of the lesson, Mr Tan made me park the car and I had to engage the reverse gear.. OMO! Not another freak out point. But all i had to do was hold on to the steering wheel, let go of my feet and let the car move, while Mr Tan turned the steering wheel and parked the car! AMAZING!!!!!!

And so, MY FIRST DRIVING LESSON!!!!(:

I went home after that. I had decided to watch some dramas before going for the YOG at 4-ish.. To my surprise, Peishi was at home when she was supposed to have a facial appointment at 10am. Then I realized mummy postponed it to 1pm so that I could go to.. Oh well, we went for facial after lunch........

At 5 plus close to 6, we reached Marina Bay Floating Platform. It was a long way to the light green zone (where our seats were), as they blocked the walkway starting from Marina Square. The event was not starting till 7.30pm. So we watched 'Devil Wears Prada' on Peishi's iPod while waiting. Yanling was at the light blue sector! She bought drinks and snacks for me cos we didn't dare to bring any snacks in, in case they threw all away like what they did during the SYF marching band competition. Anyway, the event was OKAY! Much better than what I had expected, but there were still issues. Let me list them out for you.

Issues
1) The 'cheerleaders' that were supposed to lead the individual 'sections' were DEAD! Yes i know, this is quite embarrassing for you given that you are alone and it is only a rehearsal.. BUT!!! show that you are enthusiastic about it! Stop pulling your jackets although I understand that it is quite stupid for you guys to be wearing jackets and jumping around. YET, the audience at the light green sector certainly had quite a treat watching one of the 'cheerleaders' jumping and dancing around. Yes, perhaps embarrassing, but it certainly eased the tension around and made the atmosphere exciting! (kudos to you!)

2) WHY DO WE NOT HAVE GIFT PACKS?? So what if it is just a rehearsal? We should have gift packs just like NDP! It is funny when you hear the hosts saying," Ok guys, please reach into your gift pack and take out the Singapore flag and wave it in the air!!!!!" Then, "guys, you can just wave your hands in the air!!!!!" -.-!!!! SERIOUSLY! It wouldn't hurt just to prepare more bags for us right? Furthermore, it is an international thingy! If you can spend so much money on the props and everything else, would it hurt to spend more on giving us gift packs? (i'm not whining or criticizing. I just find it really weird. People looking around asking about the gift packs but to no avail)

3) Some 'chapters' were not really following the theme.. I shan't elaborate further.. You should watch it yourself.

4) Cultural heritage, yes! Multi racial, yes! But I don't really understand the selection of certain songs.. Malay, ok. Indian, ok. Chinese, 客人来，看爸爸，爸爸不在家... huh??? what has this got to do with tradition? or singapore?

5) I was so shocked when people started leaving during the welcoming of individual flags from various countries (A-Z). But it would be considerate for people to sit back and wait till the announcement was over. It was quite an embarrassment to see people leaving in BUNCHES and clogging the exits! certainly IRRITABLE!

6) Yes, as i repeat, it is a rehearsal, but should they treat it more seriously? I was having fun but not much much due to some circumstances..

Kudos
1) The fireworks were awesome!

2) The entry of the performers was awesome!

3) It was certainly one of a kind. Although it cannot be compared with the Beijing Olympics in 2008, it was worth watching!

4) While watching, I felt a sense of pride to be a Singaporean. Not because we won the bid to host the Youth Olympic Games, but we managed to show the world what Singapore can do, even if we are "invisible" on the world map! The impressive display and stage glamour was FORMIDABLE!

If one day someone were to ask me what Singapore is like, my answer would be:

- SMALL YET FORMIDABLE
- THE FIRST COUNTRY WHICH HOSTED THE YOUTH OLYMPIC GAMES.

I believe most of them will know what Singapore is after the Youth Olympic Games!

Singapore is a young country but she has courage and perseverance that keeps her going! Dreams are wild and plentiful for Singapore!

5) Cultural heritage was brought in and it made Singaporeans feel like they belong. CERTAINLY AMAZING!

6) Display band was good and perfect!

Besides the Youth Olympic Games, there is National Day on the 9th August! AUGUST IS AN AWESOME MONTH WHEN SINGAPORE GOES INTERNATIONAL! AND BLASTS HER WAY THROUGH WITH AMAZING PERFORMANCES, AMAZING 'SIZE', AND AMAZING FIREWORKS AND DISPLAY!!!

I have ran out of things to type.. I am just too tired! Can't remember everything! I will update again when I remember more details later in the day.

I am going to spend today and Monday with my family! Busy schedule in AUGUST!

* An interesting fact about August 2010:
5 Sundays, 5 Mondays, 5 Tuesdays!!!

FORMIDABLE DAY!

what's your definition of love?

2010-08-05T23:22:00.003+08:00

love? admiration? affection? adoration? what's your definition of each of them?

I'm sure they all vary. Perhaps the emotional side of you may be the same, but they are totally different..

There was no class today, so I made a wasted trip to school when the next "lesson" starts at 1, and only requires 5 minutes of my time.. Oh wells.. This is school.. Although there was no class, I engaged in a conversation which I deem meaningful and memorable. Never in my life will I imagine myself to open up to others that confidently. The friend I talked to was alone today as her friend did not come to school. We talked about our lives, our feelings, our countries over a cup of drink, followed by lunch, and continued on when we were in the computer lab. I feel fortunate to be in this school. I have learnt so much from the different people I meet in school, which you can't get it anywhere else. Despite learning about China through China Studies in English in PJC, here is where I apply and widen my horizons. Furthermore, I learnt more about how a foreigner lives in Singapore. The different arrangements that he or she has to have prepared, the lodging issue and even the student pass issue. Being a Singaporean, I realized I have missed out many other things in life, such as how to be independent, how to think out of the box and survive on your own.

The lifestyles between Singaporeans and the Chinese are totally different. I am not able to treat my new friends like how I treat my old friends. There is a line that falls in between. Not that I hate it, but it is a different experience which i appreciate. I was asked the same question twice today. ''Why are you here?" My answer was still the same. " I myself am not sure." But this time, there was an elaboration. Despite my confusion, I have learnt a lot from many people. In these 5 weeks of school, I have also learnt how to prevent some situations and many others.

In the evening, my friends and I went over to QMU for the Toastmasters' Installation between Henderson Halks and Balestier Eagles. A truly satisfying experience and I am officially a CHARTERED TOASTMASTER!!(: I received a well-learnt lesson from Karen. She is studying at the same school with her younger brother(difference of 14 months). Many a times, i would expect elder sisters to leave their younger brother alone. But she was extremely caring towards him. I asked," 你很疼你的弟弟把？“ She simply nodded and replied," 对啊，他是独家子！一定要照顾他。" She also said," 女人一家出去就不是这个家的了。“ After hearing this, I felt so touched. She is such a great sister and I am full of admiration. We talked about my family too. She could see that I was the oldest in the family and she could sense maturity in me. So she asked," 你一定很照顾你的妹妹吧。你好成熟！" I was stunned for a moment. Mature? Me? I was totally speechless. Not because I thought I wasn't mature, but I have failed in my part. Although I am the oldest in the family, I have failed to take care of them properly like how an older sister should. Comparing both Karen and I, she really deserves my admiration. When she saw her brother up the stage, you could see such pride in her eyes. As she thought her brother and his girlfriend was accepted in UWIC, she exclaimed," 我的妈妈一定会很高兴！“ Such selfless pride made me so guilty! Not that I am jealous of my sisters, but i felt really touched. Their brother-sister relationship is totally commendable!

Recently, I have also heard a lot about friendships. Friendship is really fragile if there exists a lot of doubts. For example, Girl A has this really good friend, Girl B in school. She thinks that Girl B will forever be her friend and her partner in school. As the weeks go by, Girl B who is a more outgoing person starts to make more friends. Given her outgoing personality, Girl A should understand and try to mingle around or stay aside. But, there is no need to feel insecure or angry. Perhaps you may feel a little out of place as you think that you are lacking in some places such that you think you can't fit in. But it is not necessary to doubt. This not only puts your friend off, but it also pressures her so much that she may actually think twice about the friendship. Cases like this are inevitable. However, people should all seek a common ground of understanding and seek alternatives.

I am placed in a very awkward position such that I have friends, but they have greater connections. If you want to talk to this person alone, they may have other friends to attend to, or their close friend requires them more. I can understand as people of the same country depend on each other more, so i should feel less insecure. Take tonight for example, I can put up a brave front, but deep inside, there's this cowardly little figure that can't wait for miracles and fun to happen. In this world of mine, there is no such thing as ' YOU ARE MINE'. Everything's about sharing. Every little incident allows me to prevent more from happening. I can't be the person who depends on others too much. It's time to be independent. Friends are friends, but they are not if they leave you to fend for yourself during a tough situation.

Besides family and friends, one will also need a partner in your life. True enough, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. But here I am, talking about your ideal partner. Some may feel that the more people you get together with, the stronger you are, There are some instances where the wrong decision makes you wanna go for more, while the other kind makes you wanna avoid as much as possible. Guys may appear desperate in some cases, changing their ideal partners from time to time. Or just changing for the sake of having fun. Hmmmm, in my opinion, similarities and fate count. Just wait and see...

It's FRIDAY! Another week has gone by at a glance. There's gonna be a long weekend and I hope to make full use of it! (: Studying, spending time with my family and many more! Life's too short and the time left with my sisters do not seem much in the years to come. I will treasure them and hope to reach Karen's expectations towards me.

It's been a long post tonight. Time to sleep and I will wake up to a brand new day tmr.

Te Amo. <3

competition?

2010-08-04T20:43:00.002+08:00

has anybody ever experienced competition in class?

Yes, i have and i am experiencing it once more.. hmmmm.. i know that i am more of a competitive person and would always strive to get things done or do a good job.. but the competitive streak in me is fading a little.. In class, there is this person A who recently kept asking me for my notes. Not that i am selfish to be reluctant to lend it to him, i find it weird. Why is this person taking notice of me only on the 5th week of school?

People said that he is a shy guy who does not know how to express himself.. But still.. Asking me for my notes, but not being very friendly as i expected of him.. Hmmm.. that's kinda weird. No matter what, I was friendly and sweet enough to lend him my notes and teach him.. i still find it bothersome that the exchange is a one way thing, where i am just an answering tool. ALL THE BEST PEIRONG!

My business law teacher said that in order to do well, we have to overcome ourselves instead of others.. so, I AM OFFICIALLY IN COMPETITION WITH MYSELF. and i'll let you know the outcome.. School's connections have been bothering me so much.. they are weird and intensely connected. and.. whatever man. Studies come first(:

Te Amo.(:

Red's the color!

2010-08-03T18:29:00.002+08:00

I LOVE RED! got a manicure for 4 bucks today with Yifang! and yes! my nails are red! the manicurist said someone didn't want her nails to be painted red as the hungry ghost festival is approaching. yes, superstitious you may say. But, it is better to be save than sorry(:

Watched a movie, Au Revoir Taipei. TO ALL, PLEASE DO NOT CATCH THIS MOVIE UNLESS YOU ARE DESPERATELY IN NEED OF A MOVIE TO WATCH! the storyline was mundane, the actors and actresses were plain, the soundtrack was crazily in need of some help, and some humor is seriously needed!!

After marketing, we proceeded to the canteen. And i must say, i still did not have the guts to go forward. Just a simple hi will do too.. But, that's me.. gosh.. EMBARRASSING.. the different links you see in school is just too much of a coincidence such that i wished some of them just didn't know each other.. hmmm.. selfish you may say.. sorry.. The welcome i received on the 2nd week of school is gone.. You and I have nothing in common. True, we are Singaporeans. But the lifestyle that we live in is totally different. I envy the things you do and i really think you are cool. But it is not me.. so.. I'll back off and we'll lead our own lives(: Thank you for being welcoming and making me feel at ease in school.

I was supposed to go to church with Ruth and PD this evening for a little hearing and sharing session. But i have other commitments.. Singapore is a great place for one to explore different religions and places of worship. A 'free for all' gives people choices and often, right choices are made(: With the encouragement of friends and families, one will enter that religion. I am a Buddhist, but i do not believe in taking sides. I respect all religions and believe that people are learning the right thing(:

YOG AND NATIONAL DAY ARE COMING!! CAN YOU FEEL THEM COMING?

Not that i can, but it is certainly a different year for 2010! 2 great occasions with one being INTERNATIONAL! yes, IT IS SINGAPORE BABY!

projects deadlines coming up, revisions have to be done and yes, my life needs some kind of planning again..

<3 Ciaos!

COURT!

2010-08-02T19:20:00.003+08:00

Went to the Subordinate courts after school for an exposure for business law. Reached at 12-ish and "checked in". BUT!!! It was lunch break.. We had no choice but to hang around and wait till 2pm to view the court proceedings..

At 2, we "checked in" once more and proceeded to level 3, where the criminal cases were handled. Saw many people waiting outside court 17. So we decided to wait till it was time to go in. People started going in 15 minutes later, and so we proceeded. We sat and waited, waited, waited, waited till 3! ONE HOUR PASSED AND ALL WE DID WAS SITTING AND WAITING FOR A JUDGE TO COME OUT TO COMMENCE THE HEARING. Guess what? COURT 17 DOES NOT REQUIRE THE PRESENCE OF AN AUDIENCE! the judge was in a small room in the court, and the offenders were called in one by one to meet the judge.. No wonder i felt something was amiss.

Oh well, we left court 17 and found another court room on the same level and settled down once more. This time, the hearing had already started so we had to follow up. According to my understanding, a man was assaulted by a group of 7 to 8 people, in which, 3 of them were his acquaintances. They had forced the victim to give them his address in Singapore for IDK what, and "something happened" so they began punching him.. Then some friend came over and helped, and got himself involved.. and we left..

Please do not take my description as the full story. Because all hearings are slow, especially this, as the victim could not understand english. So, there was a translator beside him to aid communication between the lawyer and the victim. Furthermore, the translator could not speak english clearly and perfectly, so i tried my very best to comprehend. It is an interesting process as you can see the significant details the lawyer required from the victim, and the interference of the judge when the lawyer was not clear enough.. there.. the difference between a lawyer and a judge.. Anyway, it was quite a waste as i believe the lawyer is still quite new in his profession and still young, resulting in many pause fillers.. Who knows, he may end up being someone reputable in the next few years..

To all, the subordinate court is OPEN TO PUBLIC! So if you guys wanna have some exposure, please feel free to enter and hear a few cases..

My group assignment (choose either one) and write 1500 words to be due in a month's time!

1.The judiciary system in Singapore
2.The Ministry of Law
3.The role of the Court system in Singapore

We left halfway as the hearing was not expected to end anytime soon.. My friends brought me to have China cuisine at Chinatown. There was 凉菜, 包子, 饺子, 酸辣面! It was really good! I am really looking forward to more eating trips with them!!

Time to study! Found a new place to study.. My wooden table which has always been beside me but have been neglected by me for a long time.

*“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”*

See you in a few winks! (:

IT'S INTERNATIONAL BABY!

2010-08-01T21:57:00.002+08:00

Was at Ms Yang's house for a gathering for all the sportsmen that took part in the games for EASB's sports day. Certainly a memorable day i must say. Though i didn't really know everybody there, at least I talked to people i haven't seen before. I definitely made an impression to one or two.

Internationality is special to me. Emotionally, I felt weird but comfortable. Physically, I felt like I belong. However, I still have to improve what's in me, self confidence. It was amazing to see how different people from different countries actually sit together, have a little chat and fit in to where they are. Though there weren't really people from many countries, the significance was there(:

My dream is to travel to different parts of the world, make myself significant and create something formidable, hmmmm.. if not, create memories for everyone to have! I read a book once. Mercy, if i remembered correctly. There was an "invitation" to readers to sign up with the volunteer group and make an impact on those who are less fortunate. There was an urge in me saying, "Go!" But due to my studying commitments, I had no choice but to give it up. In school, there was an opportunity for me to go overseas to do volunteer work. But i didn't qualify..

I will start from the small things and sooner or later, IT WILL BE FORMIDABLE(:

This week will be another busy week! GOSH! Every week has been real busy for me! Going to the subordinate courts tomorrow for business law, meeting up with yifang on tuesday, studying korean with joanne after school on wed, toastmasters on thursday and friday...

I am taking up yoga and gonna start driving real soon! god! it's all about time management again!!! PEIRONG!! START CALLING AND DECIDING!

* We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.

au revoir.

LOVE SINGAPORE FOR THIS IS WHERE I BELONG

2010-07-31T23:38:00.003+08:00

Bonjour!

back from a late dinner.

Shopped with Cindy in the afternoon! She was tons of fun and I will never regret meeting her(: A small world is definitely worth it! We only met during orientation as i remembered, and it was just a touch and go in school. Things changed when we met again in korean class(: We are not close now. Instead, we are MUCH CLOSER!!!(:

Met my family at bout 6-ish and watched people in uniforms marching pass us.. This year's national day is definitely different from the last 12 years because, it will be the first time I won't be celebrating National Day in school. After tonight, I must say, our soldiers, be it any section or job scope, are working really hard! We must be proud of them just as we are proud of our families.. I must say, there are definitely cute guys out there marching.. But, I'm really proud of them! Especially so when you see foreigners stop and watch the ceremony together with you. Although Singapore is a small country, we certainly have what it takes to be a close to perfect city to live in.

During the march past, I SAW JUSTIN AND KAIYI! was busy staring at the bands that were playing and was desperately looking for an oboist. 2 bands passed, and still no oboist in sight.. I thought of walking away, but I heard another band playing at a distance.. I walked over, saw the secondary school uniformed groups marching past, followed by the band.. To my surprise, I saw Justin! I turned to mum and exclaimed," Mummy, there's my senior. The one playing the oboe!!" The flautist behind him turned out to be Kaiyi! I waved and I knew he was laughing when he saw me! What a coincidence!

At 8.10pm, the pledge was said and the fireworks began! The fireworks were simply amazing! They were shooting out right in front of us and there wasn't a crowd at the area we were at, thus making my viewing more worthwhile! I have always loved fireworks! Unlike movies, when you'll get sick of it after watching many times, FIREWORKS ARE THE AWESOMEST!!!

There i must say, Singapore is the best! Yes i know, i've been saying that it's small and still small. Yet, it's the safest place to be in and you feel like you belong! ~where i belong, where i keep my heart and soul, where dreams come true for us!~

Climbing Bukit Timah Hill with my family tmr before going to Ms Yang's house in the afternoon.. I hope it won't be awkward tmr.. Ottakae? what should i wear?? ANYWAY, I HOPE IT RAINS IN THE MORNING(:

* "My night has become a sunny dawn because of you."
--Ibn Abbad

- Smell the rain and tell me about it-

It's a small world

2010-07-31T10:31:00.003+08:00

Yes it's true..

Although many of us come from different parts of the world, sometimes, you will still find a common ground for both of you to talk about. Yes, i did find many common grounds with different people and I will end up being amazed!

I have this Indian classmate who was born in Tibet but moved to India when he was young. Being related to Tibet from my religion and the different connections in my family, there was something we could talk about. Language wise, he speaks with an Indian accent which i could comprehend without much difficulty. However, my friend, Ruth simply couldn't grasp what he was trying to say! Translators had to translate one language to another language to facilitate communication between 2 parties. Yet, i was translating no, converting Indian accented english to American english to Ruth! Seriously speaking, I WAS HAVING FUN!!

still, it's a long way to go to find bits of connection and joy that will make your day (:
I WILL DEFINITELY SAVOUR THE PROCESS OF LEARNING AND DISCOVERING.

* My business law teacher once said, " In the world, there will be 5 people who will look like you. almost 85% identical " I was surprised but who knows? Maybe I'll meet those people soon! In China, a lady was found to look like Cecilia Chueng. In Korea, some young girl was found to look like Ga-in.. and they will still keep looking!!

- smell the roses-

아녕하새요!

2010-07-30T22:12:00.000+08:00

아녕하새요! (Hello!)

만나소반갑섭니다! (Nice to meet you!)

gosh. it's freaking hard to type in korean as i had to find the different vowels and consonants before i could put it into a sentence..

I'm starting a blog all over again like how my current life is..

Yes, I'm still in Singapore.

It's just the daily experiences that intrigues me more and more so i wanna share them on this blog(:

I'm gonna start revising korean soon.. meeting Cindy 어니 tomorrow for korean revision and SHOPPING!!! 돈마나미나주새요!( please give me lots of money!!! (: )

I LOVE THE KOREAN LANGUAGE! AND I WILL MASTER IT!!!!!!!!

It took me really long before i decided to attend Korean lessons. Firstly, I didn't know where to start. Secondly, i was embarrassed. (as you know, language lessons= reading aloud in class) Thirdly, I was used to the 'tomorrow' effect.. so it just dragged for the nth tomorrows, till i decided to enroll myself.. FORTUNATELY, 조앤 (Joanne) joined me!(: True enough, you had to read aloud in front of the whole class despite your cluelessness and everything.... But, it's part of learning! and, if you wanna learn a language, START NOW!! I'm gonna learn Japanese and French sooooooooon!

Oh yes! talking about learning, MY DRIVING!!!!!!!! I've not found an instructor.. THE 'TOMORROW' EFFECT IS TAKING IN!!!!!

I have my reasons.. school!

School has been busy, but fun this week!

Monday- marketing project

Tuesday- IKEA, captain's ball training

Wednesday- Captain's ball match (blue VS green)

Thursday- classes

Friday- Biz law (really tired)

I made more friends this week and certainly from other countries as well.. Communication may seem a problem.. but hey! It's a part of my learning journey!(: I'm enjoying the different encounters and I'd love to share them with you(:

time to study..(i've been faring badly in korean classes!) TIME TO IMPROVE!

*Quote of the day*

It is saddening to see one competing with classmates in school. One should compete with him/herself and she would enjoy the process much more as she would in the end.

Carpe Diem!!